fact that it is past; can't be restored… For the majority of us, the past is a regret,
the future an experiment.
We may or may not be able to change ‘here and now’ or the future but we
certainly can’t change the past that has led to ‘here and now’.
I don’t have to go back far in history to realise that if all the evil, and good,
things in history had not happened I would not be here, nor would you or
anyone else here today.
We can have no regrets about the past that are not also dissatisfactions about the
present. If you want to be content in life you must learn not to regret the past.
When we look at the past we can see that on our time line all the people in the world
and all things in the universe worked together to get to where we are now
We can see lots of what seem to be chance events and the personal choices
that went into that outcome.
Once in a while,
I'm standing here,
doing something.
And I think,
"What in the world am I doing here?"
It's a big surprise.
There are some certainties here: we can do nothing
about the past once it is past.
A recent study of successful, happy and still alive people over 80 found
that taking the best from the past is an important life skill.
These people were able to be able to distil the positive from their
life experiences and to leave the negative behind.
In general it is wise to let the bad, once past, go;
but not if it is a lesson for the future:
Elsewhere I have talked about how animals learn.
This requires that we do not repeat things that are unpleasant
or harmful or if we do we need to be very cautious. In this
way the past helps, or hinders, us in our dealings with the future.
Most important is our relationships with those we love or have loved.
When I look back to the past I remember the good things,
the times and things we enjoyed together, the reasons I
liked that person and why we were together, I find I often feel good;
tender and loving in these moments. I try not to remember or
count against my partners or friends their real (or possibly imagined)
trespasses against me and I hope they do the same for me.
Forgiving the past is good for you. But forgiving does not mean
you have to forget or to be open to everyone who has done
you evil, or to treat him or her as you would others. It is a fool
who trusts those who have repeatedly proven untrustworthy.
Some people will never be your friends. If you can’t simply
avoid people who have proven untrustworthy or malicious
the first step is to try to understand why they act as they do.
You should take appropriate precautions when handling
poisonous snakes. You might befriend, tame or constrain
them so they won’t, or can’t, bite you or you might ensure their
fangs are removed.
A little fang removal can lift the spirits and be a salutary
lesson for them too, for their future.
Personal understanding allows us to see wonder in everything natural.
It also helps to understand our social institutions and
cultural values. It helps us to distinguish value from price.
Like the visitor from a more advanced land, a person who is intelligent
(in the Sontag way: with good taste in ideas) can stand
aloof from unearned privilege and: The insolence of office and
the spurns that patient merit of the unworthy takes…
or the adherents to strange beliefs.
But we are human. Relations with other people sustain us.
The mystical enriches our lives. We have a powerful sense
of wonderment and poetry in our natures that can give great
pleasure. We can find pride and pleasure in skill.
Life is to be enjoyed
yara
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