أول تجربة لي لكتابة قصه باللغه الإنجليزية " The mysterious house

http://up.shbabclub.com/uploads/5ba26f5d57.jpg







He was wondering, what was behind this old door ?
Everyday the same question was questioned but there was no response.
After a long time, he found a clue which made the mysterious door possible to be solved.


Any way , this man had to find a partner to assist him to reveal the secret of the ugly house.
Although this person was having an evidence but the house was not safe to enter it without weapons.


The man came up with an intelligent idea but at the same time he saw one of his old friend was passing by . this guy was studying with him at the previous school . At that moment he jumped up with happiness because he was released that his friend will be a good companion in this adventurous trip.


He called his friend and asked him to sit down beside him on the edge of the street .
At first time his friend could not recognize him but he immediately introduced himself to his friend . His friend's eyes were open widely with a strange look .
you have changed extremely my friend . his friend told him .
but you are the same as you were before . he replied .
Time passed by and they became more comfortable with their conversations about the previous amazing days .


He told his friend about his determination to discover and solve the ugly house through its mysterious door but his friend was shocked with fear and hesitated to join him .
He attempted to convince his friend by telling that life without adventure is wroth nothing and he should try to experience life through its dangerous places to be a famous person among his community . As a result ,his friend became massively exciting and agreed to participate in this fatal way which may cost him his life .
Bravely ,They stood up and promised each other to enter the ugly house at midnight .



The two friend returned proudly to their homes .When our hero entered his home , his slave was waiting for him with an official envelope. While he was taking the envelope from his maid , he said " i Do not think i will attend my office again " !


The young lady was confused and shocked at the same time because she did not hear him saying such words like this time "
you are a professional lawyer " she told him but he did not reply "
He left her and entered his room.

At midnight precisely, he came out of his house and met his friend at the same place that they promised to meet there .
They reached the ugly house and decided to jumped over the wall “
but, he said to his friend wait a minute because i forgot to tell you about the clue "
what do you mean ? his friend asked.
I meant that i have a device which can open the mysterious door easily . As he was trying to open the door , he observed that his friend’s face was pale and his hands were shaking very fast .

He opened the door and they got into the house .
There was an old garden surrounding the ugly house and they tried to walk carefully. They passed the garden and found the main door of the house was broken . They
could enter the house through it easily .

When they were standing in the middle of the house at the living room , suddenly, a sad music started playing and its sound was growing louder and louder.At the same time , the song was changed to be like an evil sound . The house started shaking and moving strongly and one of columns of the house fell down on the ground .Unfortunately, his friend also fell down with a strange scream and deceased at once .

He could not stand this accident and fell down to hang his friend tightly because he felt it was his fault when he brought his friend with him.
The house was shaking rapidly and he noticed that there was dust started falling down .He released that the house will destroy and there is no hope to get out of the house .


When the situation became more and more horrible , he was going to be mad and fell down unconscious. When he woke up in the morning , he saw his friend's mouth and nose were still bleeding. As result of that , he wasn’t able to move his legs or his hands !!


. He tried to creep until he got out of the house and started to run to the nearest police station to report the accident in details and brought the police to discover what happen to his friend .However ,he was running as fast as he could until he arrived at the main gate of the police station . After he reported that his friend was murdered by someone inside the mysterious house , they hurried up with him to the area to control the situation as soon as possible .


When the police entered the ugly house with him they were surprised because there were no damages or bloods on the ground and there was no body was lying on the ground as he had reported . Any way , the house was an usual old house.He tried to explain but his words could not come out of his mouth. They released that the professional lawyer was mad !!! They told him " Sir. you should see the doctor and left him alone .



He did not know what shall he do !" He started to wander around the ugly house through its garden. He was pondering about his friend and the last night. He thought all things that happened last night just like a dream !!
While he was attempting to convince himself, he saw an old man with a white hear was sitting on a big stone ! He could not move or talk and the old man was looking at him in a strange way with an evil smile!
He became an insane man because his mind could stand with what he saw. ! He turned back and left the mysterious and started to walk around his city !



people were surprised when they saw him walking madly and his appearance had changed completely like an old man. !”
He continued walking for many days without talking to the others or even responding theirs questions .


After one week , he could not move any longer and he sat down under a big tree and slept peacefully . The sky started to rain heavily and a massive thunder hut the tree as well as the man .



Finally , his life was ended without telling others the secret of the mysterious house !
Without knowing where is his friend or who was his friend .
Without knowing the old man with a white hair !
Even me, i am confused with this story !
Should i try to go there to discover the mysterious house !




Do you think i will come back safely or insanely !
Do you think that the spirits had taken his friend and his brain with them !
I can not imagine or contemplate any more !!!!!!
IF i continue thinking about this story ,i will be mad and i will go there at once!
My regards


“ Yahya Faqihi “

ما شاء الله
بالتووفيق

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة خوخهـ

ما شاء الله
بالتووفيق

---

thanks a lot

you are welcome

...Very good

{M.r Yahya, {Best wishes

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة ريحااانه

...Very good

{M.r Yahya, {Best wishes

---

i can't believe my eyes ..!

you have the ability but you attempt to avoid been well known among others

thanks a lot..

امممم لي عودة لقراءة هادئة في رحاب منزلك ذاك


i'm not very good in inglish but i'll be back to read


تحيتي لذاك الجمال الراقي

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Fifi Maria

امممم لي عودة لقراءة هادئة في رحاب منزلك ذاك


i'm not very good in inglish but i'll be back to read


تحيتي لذاك الجمال الراقي

---

you have to do your promise , so come back again as soon as you have time and a good mood ..

my regards ..

Aha..here we are
A STORY
but you know something
I wished you put it as parts
I mean {the story} just to read with more contemplate
so we can
give it deep literary criticism in terms of
the idea , the aim , the drama .. and so on

I like stories of any language
so be sure that you'll see me fixed here from time to another

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Anfas

Aha..here we are
A STORY
but you know something
I wished you put it as parts
I mean {the story} just to read with more contemplate
so we can
give it deep literary criticism in terms of
the idea , the aim , the drama .. and so on

I like stories of any language
so be sure that you'll see me fixed here from time to another

---

It will be so pleased to see you here ..

we will improve our weakness and gain many advantages as long as we continue assisting each other

Let us start form now onward as you mentioned above ..

my regards

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة الشاب الخلوق

Let us start form now onward as you mentioned above ..

---

That's it
I'm a slow reader of any kind of stories even it's in Arabic
just give me chance to finish it, then I 'll leave my brief opinion about it

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Anfas

That's it
I'm a slow reader of any kind of stories even it's in Arabic
just give me chance to finish it, then I 'll leave my brief opinion about it

---

I can't deny that we can't push ourselves to read when we feel uncomfortable ..

anyway, when you feel okay , do not forget to come

I will be waiting for your coming

even if it will take a long time

all the best


wr

I've finished these lines only
::d::

اقتباس:

---

He was wondering, what was behind this old door ?
Everyday the same question was questioned but there was no response.
After a long time, he found a clue which made the mysterious door possible to be solved.

Any way , this man had to find a partner to assist him to reveal the secret of the ugly house.
Although this person was having an evidence but the house was not safe to enter it without weapons.

---

First of all, let me give this story a very good mark

For its simple language that written in

:thumb:
So that, no complex sentences , no complex words
and very simple Idea ,too.
Some thing I wished here

I hoped you made an enough description for any thing around
as an introduction for the story, something that makes the reader preparing himself and equiping his mind to be ready for the next events.

It would be better for some words here to be replaced with some others

like:

the word answer: I think it's better than response that often includes an
action
http://samtah.net/vb/images/icons/icon7.gif

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Anfas

I've finished these lines only
::d::

First of all, let me give this story a very good mark

For its simple language that written in

:thumb:
So that, no complex sentences , no complex words
and very simple Idea ,too.
Some thing I wished here

I hoped you made an enough description for any thing around
as an introduction for the story, something that makes the reader preparing himself and equiping his mind to be ready for the next events.

It would be better for some words here to be replaced with some others

like:

the word answer: I think it's better than response that often includes an
action
http://samtah.net/vb/images/icons/icon7.gif

---

you are as good as I thought ..

let us discuss what you have observed ..


anyway, I hope you see again the texts ::d::

you have to know the differences between a simple sentence and a complex one ..

this is a complex sentence " After a long time, he found a clue which made the mysterious door possible to be solved

because of containing after and comma ..

a simple sentence like " he likes to eat alone "

please refer to this website to take a look ..

http://eslbee.com/sentences.htm

for the word " answer " it is a very common word so , i replaced by response ..

what you have advised me , i will take it as a good advice

i really appreciate your comments and like them as well ..
please be always here

waiting for the rest of your notes

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة الشاب الخلوق

this is a complex sentence " After a long time, he found a clue which made the mysterious door possible to be solved

---

The "COMPLEXITY" here has two meanings::
The first through the structure of the sentence and this what you and Link are talking about
the other and what I ment here is the function or the simple meanig of the sentence
itself for those who exactly know the structure

Many thanks for the Link
I realy need it.

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Anfas

The "COMPLEXITY" here has two meanings::
The first through the structure of the sentence and this what you and Link are talking about
the other and what I ment here is the function or the simple meanig of the sentence
itself for those who exactly know the structure

Many thanks for the Link
I realy need it.

---

I took it as simple as possible

any way , continue your observation about this story ..

Don't think i dislike what you have said "!

I really like your coming

my regards

Here we are
again

اقتباس:

---

The man came up with an intelligent idea and unexpectedly (1) he saw one of his old friends was passing by . this guy was studying with him at the previous school . At that moment he jumped up with happiness because he was released that his friend will be a good companion in this adventurous trip.

He called his friend and asked him to sit down beside him in the corner(2) of the street .
At first time his friend could not recognize him but he immediately remind (3)him withhimself to his friend . His friend's eyes were opened widely with a strange look .
you have changed extremely my friend . his friend told him .
but (4)you are the same as you were before . he replied .
Time passed by and they became more comfortable with their conversations about the previous amazing days .

The man (5) told his friend about his determination to discover and solve the ugly house through its mysterious door but his friend was shocked with fear and hesitated to join him .
He attempted to convince his friend by telling that life without adventure is wroth nothing and he should try to experience life through its dangerous places to be a famous person among his community . As a result ,his friend became massively exciting and agreed Fearfullyto participate in this fatal way which may cost him his life .
Bravely ,They stood up and promised each other to enter the ugly house at midnight .

---

(1)
i think he didn't expect his friend then
(2)
The street is some thing flat and ,too long to imagine exatly its edge
(3)
He knew him before ,so there is no need to introduce homself again to his freind ,just reninds whith himself
(4)
The word BUT here Confuses the reader cause it joins pronouns only ,so I don't know who is speaking here.
(5)
this will give me a chance to be ready for a new coming event
This color means that there is no importance for this words and we can avoid

I read it more than twice or thrice, so don't worry about the story itself

It is a very wonderful and I like it

I'm just here with these points not for Yahya but for Anfas herself
I realy want to discuss these points with you to get benefit ecpecially from those who are out of Saudi Arabia and close to the native language

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Anfas

Here we are
again

(1)
i think he didn't expect his friend then
(2)
The street is some thing flat and ,too long to imagine exatly its edge
(3)
He knew him before ,so there is no need to introduce homself again to his freind ,just reninds whith himself
(4)
The word BUT here Confuses the reader cause it joins pronouns only ,so I don't know who is speaking here.
(5)
this will give me a chance to be ready for a new coming event
This color means that there is no importance for this words and we can avoid

I read it more than twice or thrice, so don't worry about the story itself

It is a very wonderful and I like it

I'm just here with these points not for Yahya but for Anfas herself
I realy want to discuss these points with you to get benefit ecpecially from those who are out of Saudi Arabia and close to the native language

---

i really appreciate your comment and i read what you wrote .. but there is misunderstanding ..

by the way , two of my teacher had corrected the whole story

i will put the copy of the correcting paper here to discuss it deeply ..


i am not angry or unsatisfied but i don't want to go father without any points




regards wr

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة الشاب الخلوق

i will put the copy of the correcting paper here to discuss it deeply ..

No, don't do it please
I believe it
:smile:

---

I was afraid not to come
I felt embarrassed about it
May I've distorted the beauty of the text
::d::
It's realy a wonderful piece of Imagination


We 'er still waiting for more and more
of your writing

Thank you so much

Anfas

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Anfas

I was afraid not to come
I felt embarrassed about it
May I've distorted the beauty of the text
::d::
It's realy a wonderful piece of Imagination


We 'er still waiting for more and more
of your writing

Thank you so much

Anfas

---

you did not got it

i meant we will see the mistakes and we will benefit ourselves a lot from them..

i am elated to see your participation and hope u all the best

wr

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة الشاب الخلوق

you did not got it

---

I got it ,but realy
there is no body here to discuss with so I asked you not to do it.
Thanks alot

What I'm saying -at the end- is not to stop writing
and it's a good idea to share your teachers your writing
day by day , you 'll become the most famous novelist in Malaysia
and we will be a proud of Mr. Faqihy
:thumb: