أول تجربة لي لكتابة قصه باللغه الإنجليزية " The mysterious house

[Anfas]

Here we are
again

The man came up with an intelligent idea and unexpectedly (1) he saw one of his old friends was passing by . this guy was studying with him at the previous school . At that moment he jumped up with happiness because he was released that his friend will be a good companion in this adventurous trip.

He called his friend and asked him to sit down beside him in the corner(2) of the street .
At first time his friend could not recognize him but he immediately remind (3)him withhimself to his friend . His friend's eyes were opened widely with a strange look .
you have changed extremely my friend . his friend told him .
but (4)you are the same as you were before . he replied .
Time passed by and they became more comfortable with their conversations about the previous amazing days .

The man (5) told his friend about his determination to discover and solve the ugly house through its mysterious door but his friend was shocked with fear and hesitated to join him .
He attempted to convince his friend by telling that life without adventure is oth nothing and he should try to experience life through its dangerous places to be a famous person among his community . As a result ,his friend became massively exciting and agreed Fearfullyto participate in this fatal way which may cost him his life .
Bravely ,They stood up and promised each other to enter the ugly house at midnight .

(1)
i think he didn't expect his friend then
(2)
The street is some thing flat and ,too long to imagine exatly its edge
(3)
He knew him before ,so there is no need to introduce homself again to his freind ,just reninds whith himself
(4)
The word BUT here Confuses the reader cause it joins pronouns only ,so I don't know who is speaking here.
(5)
this will give me a chance to be ready for a new coming event
This color means that there is no importance for this words and we can avoid

I read it more than twice or thrice, so don't worry about the story itself

It is a very wonderful and I like it

I'm just here with these points not for Yahya but for Anfas herself
I realy want to discuss these points with you to get benefit ecpecially from those who are out of Saudi Arabia and close to the native language

[ٻـآﮱـع آلبُّخْـﯡڕ]

Here we are
again

(1)
i think he didn't expect his friend then
(2)
The street is some thing flat and ,too long to imagine exatly its edge
(3)
He knew him before ,so there is no need to introduce homself again to his freind ,just reninds whith himself
(4)
The word BUT here Confuses the reader cause it joins pronouns only ,so I don't know who is speaking here.
(5)
this will give me a chance to be ready for a new coming event
This color means that there is no importance for this words and we can avoid

I read it more than twice or thrice, so don't worry about the story itself

It is a very wonderful and I like it

I'm just here with these points not for Yahya but for Anfas herself
I realy want to discuss these points with you to get benefit ecpecially from those who are out of Saudi Arabia and close to the native language

i really appreciate your comment and i read what you ote .. but there is misunderstanding ..

by the way , two of my teacher had corrected the whole story

i will put the copy of the correcting paper here to discuss it deeply ..


i am not angry or unsatisfied but i don't want to go father without any points




regards

[Anfas]

i will put the copy of the correcting paper here to discuss it deeply ..

No, don't do it please
I believe it

I was afraid not to come
I felt embarrassed about it
May I've distorted the beauty of the text

It's realy a wonderful piece of Imagination


We 'er still waiting for more and more
of your iting

Thank you so much

Anfas

[ٻـآﮱـع آلبُّخْـﯡڕ]

I was afraid not to come
I felt embarrassed about it
May I've distorted the beauty of the text

It's realy a wonderful piece of Imagination


We 'er still waiting for more and more
of your iting

Thank you so much

Anfas

you did not got it

i meant we will see the mistakes and we will benefit ourselves a lot from them..

i am elated to see your participation and hope u all the best

[Anfas]

you did not got it

I got it ,but realy
there is no body here to discuss with so I asked you not to do it.
Thanks alot

What I'm saying -at the end- is not to stop iting
and it's a good idea to share your teachers your iting
day by day , you 'll become the most famous novelist in Malaysia
and we will be a proud of Mr. Faqihy

[ٻـآﮱـع آلبُّخْـﯡڕ]

I got it ,but realy , there is no body here to discuss with so I asked you not to do it.
Thanks alot

What I'm saying -at the end- is not to stop iting
and it's a good idea to share your teachers your iting
day by day , you 'll become the most famous novelist in Malaysia

i stopped iting a long time ago

because it depends on my mood as well as my imagination

but both of them are missing now

thanks for your comments